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Overcome shyness

My first job as a teacher was when I was 23 years old. So I’ll never forget my first class. I just stepped up, breathed in and out before going into the classroom and talking to fifteen year old students (25 of them to be exact). I just started talking and that experience helped me to find the confidence that I needed. The trick is not to let them know you’re nervous. lol

I believed in myself and you know what? I loved this new person that was being born. When I was 16 years old, I though that it was impossible for me to overcome shyness. I still tend to be shy but it is also part of me.

If you are like me, you can leave your shyness behind. It is not something that can magically disappear overnight, but it is possible to overcome it. Many of us have missed out on so many things because of it. Don’t forget that you are not alone and that you can embrace this new stage in your life.

Tips to overcome shyness:

  1. Embrace your Uniqueness. I remember that my myspace url was uniquemely. You can be an identical twin and there is NO ONE in this world like you! And if you are still in the process of self-discovery, don’t give up. Once you do this you will start building your confidence.
  2. Get Rid of Your Fears! It is normal to be afraid, but do not let it control you, you control it. The last time that I went to a concert (September 2016) I went crazy. I sang, I screamed, I jumped, I danced, you name it!! And for the first time I didn’t have any regrets. A couple of weeks before the concert, I was listening to their music (YOUNG THE GIANT, I just Love them!) and I thought to myself: you know what? I don’t care! I’m going to sing and dance as if I was alone in my room because that made me happy! And doing that in the concert made me feel FREE.
  3. Breathe in-Breathe out. There’s nothing better than doing this type of exercise to calm yourself and get rid of your anxieties.
  4. Take Risks. Be courageous, take chances, and have new adventures. This can help you to break out of your shell. You may feel uncomfortable sometimes, but it is worth it.
  5. New People. If you get the chance to meet someone new or are introduced to someone, use “small talk” to get your conversations flowing.
  6. Confident People. My husband helps me a lot. He is NOT SHY AT ALL. He also gives me tips. Get a friend or a family member that can be with you and help you to get the extra push that you need.
  7. Big Voice. Sometimes I still have some trouble with my voice. I’m used to my low voice because I think that if I speak up I’m yelling, but the truth is that I’m not. Get someone to help you so that you can get comfortable to your sound. My students have helped me a lot, lol.

Do you know someone that is shy? Share this post with them! What has worked for you?

<3

Melissa

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Life of a shy introvert

Many of us go through different stages in life alone or don’t talk about it because were afraid of what other people might think. Tell me about it…you’re looking at a shy, insecure, introvert, low voice type of person. Did you know that introvert and shy are not synonyms? I thought they were until I googled it.

An introvert enjoys time alone and doesn’t like to spend too much time with people. He/She prefers to be in a quiet environment.

A shy person doesn’t exactly want to be alone most of the time, she/he is just afraid to interact with others and has the fear of negative judgement.

Many people that haven’t seen me in years tell me: “I can’t believe that you are now a teacher! I have to see it to believe it.” Then they ask: “What grades?” I tell them: “10th and 11th”. Their faces are priceless. I feel proud to say it. I never forgot Babe Ruth’s quote: “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” -Thanks to Hilary Duff’s movie-A Cinderella Story back in 2004. I was just 16 years old.

Some knew me as the shy, nervous, laughing girl since I was a teenager. In school, a boy used to call me “la callaita”, in English means “the quiet one”. Growing up I had a difficult time meeting new people too. I remember that if my friends introduced me to someone and later on I would see that person somewhere else I would be too scared to go over and say “hi”. My mom would get so angry because people would think that I was an anti-social person. The truth is that I wasn’t. At first, I may be “the quiet one”, but if you talked about something that I like or have interest in, I can’t stop talking!

Some other times, I used to stay quiet so that I could kind of study the people to see how they acted and that way they wouldn’t reject me, but you know what? It was the worst thing to do because who wants to be around someone that doesn’t have anything to say.  Others used to say to me: “You barely talk, but at least you smile”.  After a year hanging out with the youth group of my church, I started to talk a little bit and when I did talk and speak up they were so surprised and said: “Oh my God! She just said something! Everyone stop talking!” and this made me shy all over again.

During birthday parties, concerts, or other types of activities, I just sat down all awkward wanting to leave.  At concerts, my friends would start jumping, yelling, dancing, and basically singing their hearts out! Me…I was doing the same thing…on the inside of course! I wanted to a have great time, but I was too afraid of what the people in the back seats would think about me. When I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I would cry and pray to God to take away this shyness away like it was some type of illness. Later on, I discovered that it was up to me. I was letting the shyness get the best of me and if I kept going down that road I was going to miss many opportunities. I mean come on; I also wanted to get married lol.

My first job interview: Mr. Pretzels. I was 18 years old and got hired, though my manager told me: “you do know that you have to speak up; otherwise, the clients will eat you up”. With my mission of “no more shyness” and my first job, I developed better social skills, plus college was starting soon and no one else was going to talk for me.

After that, when my friends introduced me to someone new I decided to create “small talks”. This helped me a lot. Till this day it works for me.You can start with simple questions like: Where are you from? Do you work? Is this your first year of college? Some people would say: “Is this a small talk or an interview?” But if it works for you it won’t matter. While the people answer these types of questions, I sometimes think about the next topic depending on their answers. I do everything to avoid the “awkward silence” lol.

Have you ever been through this? Are you shy or introvert? Are you both?

<3

Melissa