Many of us go through different stages in life alone or don’t talk about it because were afraid of what other people might think. Tell me about it…you’re looking at a shy, insecure, introvert, low voice type of person. Did you know that introvert and shy are not synonyms? I thought they were until I googled it.
An introvert enjoys time alone and doesn’t like to spend too much time with people. He/She prefers to be in a quiet environment.
A shy person doesn’t exactly want to be alone most of the time, she/he is just afraid to interact with others and has the fear of negative judgement.
Many people that haven’t seen me in years tell me: “I can’t believe that you are now a teacher! I have to see it to believe it.” Then they ask: “What grades?” I tell them: “10th and 11th”. Their faces are priceless. I feel proud to say it. I never forgot Babe Ruth’s quote: “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” -Thanks to Hilary Duff’s movie-A Cinderella Story back in 2004. I was just 16 years old.
Some knew me as the shy, nervous, laughing girl since I was a teenager. In school, a boy used to call me “la callaita”, in English means “the quiet one”. Growing up I had a difficult time meeting new people too. I remember that if my friends introduced me to someone and later on I would see that person somewhere else I would be too scared to go over and say “hi”. My mom would get so angry because people would think that I was an anti-social person. The truth is that I wasn’t. At first, I may be “the quiet one”, but if you talked about something that I like or have interest in, I can’t stop talking!
Some other times, I used to stay quiet so that I could kind of study the people to see how they acted and that way they wouldn’t reject me, but you know what? It was the worst thing to do because who wants to be around someone that doesn’t have anything to say. Others used to say to me: “You barely talk, but at least you smile”. After a year hanging out with the youth group of my church, I started to talk a little bit and when I did talk and speak up they were so surprised and said: “Oh my God! She just said something! Everyone stop talking!” and this made me shy all over again.
During birthday parties, concerts, or other types of activities, I just sat down all awkward wanting to leave. At concerts, my friends would start jumping, yelling, dancing, and basically singing their hearts out! Me…I was doing the same thing…on the inside of course! I wanted to a have great time, but I was too afraid of what the people in the back seats would think about me. When I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I would cry and pray to God to take away this shyness away like it was some type of illness. Later on, I discovered that it was up to me. I was letting the shyness get the best of me and if I kept going down that road I was going to miss many opportunities. I mean come on; I also wanted to get married lol.
My first job interview: Mr. Pretzels. I was 18 years old and got hired, though my manager told me: “you do know that you have to speak up; otherwise, the clients will eat you up”. With my mission of “no more shyness” and my first job, I developed better social skills, plus college was starting soon and no one else was going to talk for me.
After that, when my friends introduced me to someone new I decided to create “small talks”. This helped me a lot. Till this day it works for me.You can start with simple questions like: Where are you from? Do you work? Is this your first year of college? Some people would say: “Is this a small talk or an interview?” But if it works for you it won’t matter. While the people answer these types of questions, I sometimes think about the next topic depending on their answers. I do everything to avoid the “awkward silence” lol.
Have you ever been through this? Are you shy or introvert? Are you both?
<3
Melissa