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What to do when you’re stressed

Nobody in this world is safe from Mr. Stress. Unfortunately, it is part of our lives. All we need to do is learn how to deal with it. I’m not going to lie, some days I can manage it, but other days I tend to freak out.

Fact about myself: At the same time, I believe that it is good to have Mr. Stress around because it helps me when I have to hand in essays. In a way, it gives me the “adrenaline rush” that I need to find inspiration and write about the topic that the professor asks for. This is the only time that I see Mr. Stress like a good person.

My stress is constantly caused by things like homework (I’m currently taking classes to get my official teacher’s license), planning my classes (I’m a high school ESL teacher), what should I cook after I get out of work, house chores, other errands, my husband (wondering how his day is going since his work causes him to be constantly stressed -so I try to cheer him up), and take time for myself, so yeah! Many things going on. When I don’t organize my thoughts, my mind turns into chaos. So, I constantly have a million things going on in my mind and because of this, I can’t focus! Literally, you tell me something and 20 seconds later I forget what was it. Sometimes, the tension starts to physically manifest throughout my body and the result is: some mean headaches in the afternoons.

It is important to manage stress because if not it can affect our health. In 2014, I had to quit my job. I worked at a call center (during that process I found out that this job is not for me). At some point, I had so much stress that I got gastritis and I remember going to a psychologist during that time. She said: “this is the result of too much stress; your body is showing you how stressed it is through your stomach!”  So the secret is to live a balanced life. After you experience different types of stress, you find out what works for you. In the meantime, I will let you know what works for me.

  1. Identify: What’s causing it? What are the true sources? Because sometimes the things that give us stress are just temporary.
  2. Express your feelings. Write or find someone that you can trust, that is a good listener, or someone that can give you advice. Remember that some people just like to watch you fall so be careful with who you talk to.
  3. Don’t try to control everything. Stop and look at the big picture. Manage the things that you can work on.
  4. Organize your tasks! I love this part! Once I do this, I feel that I lose half of the stress baggage already. Sadly, I started doing this in 2016. I bought a small planner that I take with me everywhere!  Have a to-do list: write down everything (schedule, daily tasks, house chores, and appointments). If you see things that aren’t too important eliminate them or (if you can’t drop them) put them at the bottom of the list. Another thing that can help you is to find someone that can help you complete those tasks. For example: Let’s say that you need to go to the grocery store and your husband is near the area, you can ask him if he can help you buy the groceries that you need. btw.  this week I will start to use a bullet journal! (I’ll let you know later, in another post, about this new planning device and how it goes.)
  5. Make time for leisure. Do something that you enjoy and helps you to get away for a while (forget about things). I just love to practice my lettering and doodle, it’s my therapy!
  6. Exercise! It has been proven that exercise is one of the best things to do when you feel stressed. It helps you with your memory, energy, plus your body will thank you for it! I fell in love with Yoga and it gives me the time that I need to meditate.

Lastly, don’t forget that in the end everything will be fine!

How do you guys manage your stress?

 <3

Melissa

 

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Overcome shyness

My first job as a teacher was when I was 23 years old. So I’ll never forget my first class. I just stepped up, breathed in and out before going into the classroom and talking to fifteen year old students (25 of them to be exact). I just started talking and that experience helped me to find the confidence that I needed. The trick is not to let them know you’re nervous. lol

I believed in myself and you know what? I loved this new person that was being born. When I was 16 years old, I though that it was impossible for me to overcome shyness. I still tend to be shy but it is also part of me.

If you are like me, you can leave your shyness behind. It is not something that can magically disappear overnight, but it is possible to overcome it. Many of us have missed out on so many things because of it. Don’t forget that you are not alone and that you can embrace this new stage in your life.

Tips to overcome shyness:

  1. Embrace your Uniqueness. I remember that my myspace url was uniquemely. You can be an identical twin and there is NO ONE in this world like you! And if you are still in the process of self-discovery, don’t give up. Once you do this you will start building your confidence.
  2. Get Rid of Your Fears! It is normal to be afraid, but do not let it control you, you control it. The last time that I went to a concert (September 2016) I went crazy. I sang, I screamed, I jumped, I danced, you name it!! And for the first time I didn’t have any regrets. A couple of weeks before the concert, I was listening to their music (YOUNG THE GIANT, I just Love them!) and I thought to myself: you know what? I don’t care! I’m going to sing and dance as if I was alone in my room because that made me happy! And doing that in the concert made me feel FREE.
  3. Breathe in-Breathe out. There’s nothing better than doing this type of exercise to calm yourself and get rid of your anxieties.
  4. Take Risks. Be courageous, take chances, and have new adventures. This can help you to break out of your shell. You may feel uncomfortable sometimes, but it is worth it.
  5. New People. If you get the chance to meet someone new or are introduced to someone, use “small talk” to get your conversations flowing.
  6. Confident People. My husband helps me a lot. He is NOT SHY AT ALL. He also gives me tips. Get a friend or a family member that can be with you and help you to get the extra push that you need.
  7. Big Voice. Sometimes I still have some trouble with my voice. I’m used to my low voice because I think that if I speak up I’m yelling, but the truth is that I’m not. Get someone to help you so that you can get comfortable to your sound. My students have helped me a lot, lol.

Do you know someone that is shy? Share this post with them! What has worked for you?

<3

Melissa

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Life of a shy introvert

Many of us go through different stages in life alone or don’t talk about it because were afraid of what other people might think. Tell me about it…you’re looking at a shy, insecure, introvert, low voice type of person. Did you know that introvert and shy are not synonyms? I thought they were until I googled it.

An introvert enjoys time alone and doesn’t like to spend too much time with people. He/She prefers to be in a quiet environment.

A shy person doesn’t exactly want to be alone most of the time, she/he is just afraid to interact with others and has the fear of negative judgement.

Many people that haven’t seen me in years tell me: “I can’t believe that you are now a teacher! I have to see it to believe it.” Then they ask: “What grades?” I tell them: “10th and 11th”. Their faces are priceless. I feel proud to say it. I never forgot Babe Ruth’s quote: “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” -Thanks to Hilary Duff’s movie-A Cinderella Story back in 2004. I was just 16 years old.

Some knew me as the shy, nervous, laughing girl since I was a teenager. In school, a boy used to call me “la callaita”, in English means “the quiet one”. Growing up I had a difficult time meeting new people too. I remember that if my friends introduced me to someone and later on I would see that person somewhere else I would be too scared to go over and say “hi”. My mom would get so angry because people would think that I was an anti-social person. The truth is that I wasn’t. At first, I may be “the quiet one”, but if you talked about something that I like or have interest in, I can’t stop talking!

Some other times, I used to stay quiet so that I could kind of study the people to see how they acted and that way they wouldn’t reject me, but you know what? It was the worst thing to do because who wants to be around someone that doesn’t have anything to say.  Others used to say to me: “You barely talk, but at least you smile”.  After a year hanging out with the youth group of my church, I started to talk a little bit and when I did talk and speak up they were so surprised and said: “Oh my God! She just said something! Everyone stop talking!” and this made me shy all over again.

During birthday parties, concerts, or other types of activities, I just sat down all awkward wanting to leave.  At concerts, my friends would start jumping, yelling, dancing, and basically singing their hearts out! Me…I was doing the same thing…on the inside of course! I wanted to a have great time, but I was too afraid of what the people in the back seats would think about me. When I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I would cry and pray to God to take away this shyness away like it was some type of illness. Later on, I discovered that it was up to me. I was letting the shyness get the best of me and if I kept going down that road I was going to miss many opportunities. I mean come on; I also wanted to get married lol.

My first job interview: Mr. Pretzels. I was 18 years old and got hired, though my manager told me: “you do know that you have to speak up; otherwise, the clients will eat you up”. With my mission of “no more shyness” and my first job, I developed better social skills, plus college was starting soon and no one else was going to talk for me.

After that, when my friends introduced me to someone new I decided to create “small talks”. This helped me a lot. Till this day it works for me.You can start with simple questions like: Where are you from? Do you work? Is this your first year of college? Some people would say: “Is this a small talk or an interview?” But if it works for you it won’t matter. While the people answer these types of questions, I sometimes think about the next topic depending on their answers. I do everything to avoid the “awkward silence” lol.

Have you ever been through this? Are you shy or introvert? Are you both?

<3

Melissa

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Having your husband’s back

My husband has been having a weird abdominal pain since last week. Last Friday, at 12:00pm I received a text from my hubby saying that he couldn’t stand the pain anymore, so he was being taken to the doctor, and she suggested him that it might be appendicitis so he should go to the Emergency Room. I’m at work so I became anxious. Plus, I was in class so I had to keep calm. After finishing the class, I went to the hospital. He texted me that he felt so scared. He was thinking of what might happen. I told him: “do not freak out. We don’t know what is wrong yet.” But then he told me the reason.

What do you do when you get sick? Yep, you guessed it! He googled the symptoms….that doesn’t help at all!! I told him: Okay, I’m just going to say three things:

1. The doctor hasn’t seen you.

2. You haven’t had any studies done yet so STOP thinking about the worst case scenarios.

3. Our minds are really powerful so because of what you read you may even feel symptoms that aren’t even there.

While I got there, my mother (who is just awesome!) was already there keeping him company. When I finally got there with his favorite jacket, he was just so happy to see me there. He couldn’t stop thanking me for just being there with him. That moment made me stop and think. Sometimes you feel powerless when it comes to these types of situations. All you can do is just be there next to him. He was just sitting there all quiet. All I could do was  hug him.  He would take that hug with such comfort. Sometimes we do things and we feel that they mean nothing or just not enough, but for them it’s worth millions.

After you get to know your husband or partner, you know if he/she is the type of person that likes it when you show them your love through gifts, gestures, words, or all of them at once. I love to get gifts (handmade), gestures, and words to feel loved. My hubby is the type of person that loves gestures more than words. I learned that a couple of years later.

Together since 2010, he was my one and only “official boyfriend”, so I’ve learned everything with him and I thought that the way to show him my love was the same way that I wanted him to show me his, but it is not. We have to get to that “happy medium” as we call it.

Let them demonstrate their love just the way they are. My husband though that the gifts had to be store bought always. What I really love are gifts done by him. One time we went out to eat. I remember that while we were talking he was playing around with a napkin. After he finished playing with it, he says: “for you”. It was a flower! I still have it by the way. That is more valuable to me than any other gift that was bought at a store. This type of gift was done with love and thinking of me.

Thanks to that detail, I will never forget that Friday night.

We will never get to know our partner 100% but we can have fun doing it!

So how do you like to express your love to your partner?

<3

Melissa

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Hello Everyone!

Welcome to my new blog!

My name is Melissa and I’m so happy and excited to start this blog! I can’t wait to share everything and get to know you. This is something that can be intimidating, but at the same time is an adrenaline rush! So let’s begin this new stage in my life and introduce myself.

I was born and raised in Puerto Rico. I am a minimalist, plant, animal, yoga lover that loves to learn new things like lettering, which is my new journey and I will let you know all about it in my blog posts. I’m also happily married! My husband and I met back in 2009 and got married in 2013. Four years of laughs, fights, frustration, fun adventures, and lots of love.  I will also let you know some things that have helped me to keep the sparks alive. So going back to Letters By Angelie and the reason why I decided to do this.

The main purpose of this blog is to help others. My favorite topics are about how life’s obstacles help us grow and become stronger. I believe that out of all the negative things that can happen in your life there’s always a positive side. Many of you may know that Puerto Rico is going through some tough times lately since September 20, 2017 because of Hurricane María. There’s no power; communications, and not enough food or water for over 50 days and counting. Out of all the chaos that my island, family, friends, and I are living, I decided to start my blog.

Can’t wait to talk to you!

E-mail me: lettersbyangelie@gmail.com

<3

Melissa